Saying Goodbye

Yesterday, my grandfather made his peaceful transition home to his parents. I know that at almost 31 years old, I have been very fortunate to have one complete set of grandparents remaining. Now, that number has been reduced to one grandmother.

My pawpaw Sam was a loving, caring man. He was larger than life, as anyone who knew him can confirm. He was HUGE when I was a child (6'3, 350 lbs, built like a tank!) and I am sure will reach a Paul Bunyon standard by the time my children are old enough to hear the stories. I never heard him utter a harsh word, curse, or be anything but a good person. He worked hard every day of his life until a stroke 6 years ago robbed him of the use of his legs. I remember clearly seeing the 78 year old man rolling around on top of his roof fixing shingles because he was worried if he stood up he would fall through or off the roof. Yeah, because at 78 you are not supposed to be on the roof at all. He was amazing.

I will miss him terribly, but the loss comes at a great relief, as he has suffered unnecessarily over the past few months. When my time comes, set me on fire and throw me out of an airplane so I can go down in a literal blaze of glory. I don't want to go out like that.

I have also been given the distinct honor of eulogizing the man I have probably admired most in my entire life. It is a great honor, and I hope I can do him justice. How do you capture 85 years of greatness in a sound bite? I will try to post whatever I come up with. It's funny the things that stand out the most when someone you love dearly passes. I remember the stories, the countless hours spent listening to them over and over.

Yesterday when I got the news, I was numb. I have been waiting for a week to hear the words, "He is gone." When I finally heard them, I went into thought mode. I didn't cry. I didn't feel sad at all. The emotion hit me this morning as I was sending out the funeral information to my friends and family. I know I have a floodgate waiting to open inside my heart once I finally accept that I will never see him again. I am still mourning the loss of my Uncle Curt, who died of cancer back in 2003. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I am sure the effect of losing my grandpa will be as profound.

Please say a prayer or send a happy thought if you don't pray for my grandfather. I know that he will be able to watch over me now from a place of peace and love.